


clothes do not make the man

by iknowyounow



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Evil Yixing maybe, M/M, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-23 14:53:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3772426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknowyounow/pseuds/iknowyounow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Lu Han shall not go shopping alone' is EXO's first commandment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	clothes do not make the man

**Author's Note:**

> (i didn't reread this before publishing it so there might be lots of typos.)

Tugging at the hem of the shirt he just put on, Lu Han settles his gaze on the full-length mirror before him and turns around several times, determined to find all the right angles that will tell him whether it suits him, or not.  
  
Behind him are all the clothes Yixing chose for him, but he doesn't care about those, the only thing he personally picked, the fabulous shirt he currently wears, has his undivided attention. The garment, a bright blue shirt with stripes, feels like a second skin to him, and it fits him perfectly, alternating fitting tightly, and being loose in all the right places.  
  
_I knew it_ , he can't help but think as he looks at his reflection.  
  
This color looks so fucking good on him, not that he ever doubt that fact because, he isn't one to boast or anything, but let's be honest here, everything looks fucking good on him. But  _this_ , it brings out his complexion and highlights the color of his newly-dyed hair. Now, he'll just have to buy a new pair of sneakers to go wit—  
  
“Lu Han.”  
  
Said boy doesn't have to prick up his ears to hear the impatience that tints the word—Yixing's always been that transparent, and he can easily imagine him outside of the fitting room, annoyed frown on, pursed lips and all. “Hm?” he replies distractedly, as if he didn't spend the last ten minutes where he currently is.  
  
“The only thing you need to do is to take off your shirt, hang it somewhere in the cabin, and then—“  
  
“If I may, I think there's more than just one thing in your sentence,” Lu Han singsongs, almost like he's proud of being the annoying prick that he can be sometimes (aka most of the times, and especially now).  
  
“You choose another shirt,” Yixing goes on, wisely choosing to ignore him—the manager was clear; no blood bath allowed, or more exactly, no blood bath allowed when in public, he remembers him saying something about it being inappropriate, but yeah. “that you will put on to replace the one you already own, so what the hell is—”  
  
“Holy shit, Yixing.”  
  
“What.” said boy replies, voice flat.  
  
Maybe aliens suddenly appeared in front of the other, maybe he finally understood that he's dumb (about damn time, but hey, better later than never), maybe he received a text message informing him that he has to leave EXO. Something grandiose could be happening inside that tiny cabin, but he honestly couldn't care less, because he just lost eight fucking minutes (he counted) of his life waiting for Lu Han, standing outside of the aforementioned cabin, alone and useless, and he hates that fact.  
  
“Are you a god amongst humans, because you, like, just changed my whole life,” Yixing braces himself for the stupid words that will, no doubt, leave Lu Han's mouth next. “Teaching me how to dress myself and all, you know.”  
  
Sometimes, he wishes he wouldn't be right  _that_  often. “...I don't like you being sarcastic.”  
  
Luhan snorts. “I don't like you,” he shoots back.  
  
No blood bath allowed, no blood bath allowed,  _no blood bath allowed_ — “Hurry the fuck up, Lu Han.”  
  
And Lu Han knows that he really should do that, because one, Yixing only rarely curse, and when he does, it's either because he's drunk, exhausted, or pissed off (and he's going to take a wild guess here and say that it's the latter), and two, he just used  _the_  tone, the I-will-piss-on-everything-you-love one—and he might really (try to) do it (again), because hello, he's talking about  _Yixing_ , and even if he's figured some things out, he doesn't understand the other boy most of the time, and maybe that's because clearly, he comes from another (insert variations of the word bizarre here) planet.  
  
However, his life motto is and will remain  _live wild or die trying_  and so he just— “I'm admiring my perfectness, can't you wait, like, a minute or two? What's a minute in the grand scheme of things?”  
  
“And what's a minute compared to the last ten precious minutes I wasted waiting for your highness to try a damn t-shirt? I want my time back.”  
  
“Aw,” Lu Han mock-wails. Yixing is ninety-nine percent positive that he heard a smile in his voice, and tearing it off his face suddenly makes it in his top ten of things he wants to do before he dies. “Unfortunately, the store's policy is neither returned nor exchanged.”  
  
The black-haired boy licks his lips out of habit and starts pacing around the room—that's what they do in the movies, when they're waiting for something to happen, bored or frustrated, and seeing how he's currently all that, it might be the solution to his troubles. (It wasn't, he later finds out. There's no solution to the problem that is Lu Han.)  
  
He reminds himself of the manager's policy one last time—he sighs because who is he kidding, that's the kind of thing that needs to constantly stay on the back of your mind when you spend time with Lu Han—before he talks again. “I swear, if you don't step out of this fitting room in the ten following seconds, I will tell the world that you once jerked off while watching a disney movie, and I will enjoy every second of it,” he threatens, smirks when he hears a rather loud gasp. “Imagine the headlines “EXO's Lu Han revealed to—“  
  
“You wouldn't dare.” Lu Han hisses, and then pokes his head out of the curtains. He looks positively scandalized, with his eyes glaring daggers at him and his mouth wide open, which kind of reminds him of that Running Man episode they appeared on years ago.  
  
Slowly, Yixing arches his right eyebrow. “Watch me.”  
  
Lu Han just stares as he takes his phone out of his back pocket, and he starts to pout—a thing he will later deny.  
  
“For God's sake, that was a one time thing, I was fourteen and—“  
  
“Since your testosterone levels were higher than the average, hormones took control of your brain, I know. The whole damn world know, Lu Han. Or will soon, at least.” The smile-slash-smirk that plays on his lips is Satan's every time a sin's made, Lu Han thinks.  
  
“Wh—I told you that because I trusted—notice the tense used here—you, and now what? You want to blackmail me? Like, for real? What happened to our friendship, Zhang Yixing?” he asks, bringing both hands to his chest in what he hopes is a dramatic manner—he just looks stupid, if you ask Yixing, but once again, he considers everything vaguely related to Lu Han stupid. Shaking his head disappointedly, he tsks and adds, “Kids nowadays... So reckless.”  
  
He purposely forgets to ask  _who_  is the real kid here, because they'd been there before, and it did not end up particularly well. “Riiiight, now, would you be kind enough to get the hell out of here?” Lu Han does just that. “Good boy.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he replies, then bites his botton lip, somewhat uncertain. “How's that?”  
  
Lu Han's sudden shyness almost makes him want to say something kind, but he knows better, than that because the doll-faced boy can be a great actor when he wants;  _don't judge a book by its cover_  they say, that's something he learned the hard way with the other.  
  
He slightly tilts his head to the side.  _Revenge's time_  is all he can think of as he eyes Lu Han up and down as slowly as humanly possible, face unreadable. Then, he turns him around several times, readjusting the shirt where it fell off his shoulders. “Do you want me to say something nice, or what I really think?” he questions when he faces him again, curious.  
  
As much as fans think of Lay as an  _adorable angel_ , Yixing is actually the devil's hidden child—and he himself probably is the other, which is probably the reason as to why they get along so much.  
  
Lu Han grimaces. “Nice, definitely.”  
  
“Alright,” he shrugs. “This...thing is horrible. I mean, I wouldn't want to wear it even if I was promised a million dollars—hell, I wouldn't wear it as a disguise. When did you even get that by the way? I certainly did not choose... _that_ ,” he says next, like it's no big deal that he just trampled on his dignity.  
  
“...I said nice.” Yixing eyes him, pointedly. “Oh.” Looks like he just got carried away. Again. “Okay.”  
  
And with that, he turns on his heels and goes back inside the cabin, ignoring the other laughing, “that's why you're not allowed to go shopping on your own.”  
  
(When they're ready to leave the store, after they (Lu Han) bought almost all the shirts Yixing chose for him, said boy leans in close and whispers directly in his right ear, “you know, all of this doesn't really matter to me, since you look the best naked at night anyway.“ A peck placed so quickly on his cheek that anyone can easily believe that he's still murmuring in his ear (and it has him wondering whether it really happened or not) later, Lu Han blinks at his boyfriend. Yixing innocently smiles, and he's a hundred and ten percent sure that it's because he hears his stupid heart miss a beat or two.)


End file.
